Stick Shifts
by Late Night Child
Summary: It was something I could always remember doing; curling up outside his bedroom door to wait for the memories and nightmares to pass. Bevin
1. Chapter 1

a/n: hello, well lets get this out of the way, shall we?

WARNING RATED R for graphic sex and rape(not so much the rape) This is boyboy love. if you don't like it, you should learn to.

oh, i also switch POV's a little...i dont know why.

please enjoy.

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_-_1st POV

I don't think either Gwen or Ben knew it happened. I think they thought I was too strong, too detached, too Kevin for it.

It was never just nightmares, and they never just happened. They were memories that would overtake me, that were triggered. Like a button stitched back into the ON position. It never mattered how it became ON, it was always the same.

_-_ 3rd POV

He chokes violently over his already stained carpet. Moaning audible as his insides seemed to twist in on themselves.

_"Levin! You look a little hungry-"_

Another wretch racks him and he toppls from the bed into a pile.

_"Let me give you something to EAT!"_

More vomit spills out his mouth as the memories catch up with me like mad sunlight burning every inch of his flesh.

Completely unable to overcome himself Kevin sinks inwards and screams into a fistful of blankets.

His dark brown hair clings to his fevered forehead.

Just barely above a whisper, just long enough for the wind to catch it, it's whispered.

"Ben"

_-_ 1stPOV

I can't be sure how I always get there.

Somehow I manage to catch some air to propel myself up off the floor. And miracles proceed as I also manage to; find my keys and, my ability to walk. And this happens, every time.

It's 3am, and my odometer never dips below 80. I don't stop. My insides are ripping apart, reality is getting harder and harder for me to, see from the fall. I'm shaking uncontrollably and my vision is spotted. And by sheer luck alone, in-between bouts of unreality I park outside Bens house.

I drag myself lifelessly up the tree and onto his roof.

The smell of his house instantly overtakes me and I can instantly feel his presence near me.

Then I am okay.

I sink out side his door like a pile of fucking sand. And I swear, that was all I ever needed. Just being outside his door, knowing that he was there. So long as I knew he was there I could, breath.

I don't know how many nights I've spent outside his door, bemoaned and shaking. And I just sit there. Digging my heels into his carpet against his door to, grounding myself. I stick to his door like glue, unraveling.

I've never opened the door, I've never knocked. I just sit there, like a rock, trying not to make a sound.

I continue gnawing on the zipper of my jacket, cutting my gums up. I shudder as another voice shouts through my cerebellum. I wish they would just stop.

Then the door suddenly burst open behind me. And I'm thrown backwards onto his wood floor. My head making a loud crack sound against it. Terror instantly runs through me as the pain triggers memories in my brain to begin rolling.

"Kevin?"

My heap of a body gags at the sound of its own name. I overload. My mouth bursts with a choked moan, and I curl myself up to keep whole. Ben knowing, Ben seeing was never something I wanted to happen. I never wanted him to know.

"Kevin, are you hurt?" The sickness is irritated and shifts inside me.

He touches my shoulder, and it takes all my strength to keep from screaming out. My tremors worsen and I can just barely breathe.

"Kevin!" He shakes me. The sickness ruptures and moves up my intestines.

"I'm gonna be sick." I say it as clearly and as strongly as I can. And it only comes out just above a whisper.

"You're what?"

"I'm serious, I'm really gonna be sick." As soon as the words leave my mouth I have to clasp my hands over my mouth. Ben's hand disappears and something in me hates it.

The first gag is held in by my hands, but by the second I can't hold it in anymore. Just as my insides become outsides something is placed in front of me. Desperately I clutch the object, I squeeze my eyes shut as the vomit spills out of me.

My weak body sways back and forth in protest.

I slowly open my eyes to recognize that Ben had handed me a trophy cup. I'm almost sure my lips turn upwards a bit, if only for a moment.

Disjoined and exhausted I set the vomit filled trophy on the floor in front of me. I'm shaking so hard that I can't stop myself from spilling it a little.

"I'm sorry." My voice is horse and is hardly audible.

Ben it about 5 feet away with a look of absolute apprehension on his face.

"Kevin."

He takes a step closer to me and I shift backwards. I'm not supposed to be here, he's not supposed to see me.

"Kevin..."

He's getting closer. Oh god I don't want him to see. I hang my head down low.

He footsteps get closer and I'm doing the best I can to remember he is my friend. I hope.

"Kevin, whatever it is it's gonna be okay." He would say, something like that. "I'll make damn sure of it."

His hand appears on my shoulder for the second time and I am hitched. Instantly my body responds to his and all my nerve endings start screaming.

"Whatever it is."

"Can we stay like this?" I blurt it out so soundlessly that I'm not even sure the words existed at all.

"What?" His hand shifts on my shoulder and in my desperation I bent sharply into them.

"Ca-can we stay like this." I stutter over my own conviction. "P-please?"

He's so unsure of what to do that it makes my eyes water, which I'm sure is what makes him stay.

He stays quite, uncertain of how to respond to me.

He settles next to me, and helps me by breathing as I shake baselessly beside him. Every few seconds he would tighten his grip, and each time a string of the past would snap or loosen.

I'm not sure how long he let me sit there, pretending to be human. Trying to just breath.

_-_

I can't be sure how Ben managed to accomplish some of the things that followed.

He somehow got me standing. Loosely termed. And to his bed without me, throwing up again, or, screaming.

He sits me on his bed, which is soft, warm and, nice.

"You're not wearing shoes Kevin..." I curl my toes.

He takes my jacket off and heaves it onto his floor.

He, gets a towel from the bathroom and wipes the throw up off my face. All the while whispering.

"It's going to ok Kevin, I promise."

He lifts his covers and coaxes me into them.

"I'll protect you from whatever it is you're afraid of."

He lies next to me and takes my hand. And for a moment something loosen and I clench his hand tightly in mine.

"You're my friend."

All of a sudden something in me jolts forward, and release a hot sensation into my chest. Following a large snap that crashes though my head, a hot liquid suddenly starts rolling down my face.

It takes me a moment to realize that I'm crying.

For the first time in years, I Kevin Levin am, crying.

And Ben Tennyson, in his immaculate Ben Tennysonness did the one thing I needed him to do. The one thing I've always wanted some, anyone to do. In all my years of living the only thing I've ever needed someone to do.

He reached over, and wiped the tears from my face.

"I promise."

-

a/n: …yes well, there it is. My Ben 10 fanfic…oh lordy. Please review, they would be nice…


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: that's right, there's more. I don't do dabbles. Anyways, continuing.

Kevin 1st POV all the way.

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My sleep is wrecked by a sharp pain sliding across my head. I groan lowly and shift inwards.

Something stiffens me and I realize that I still have my pants on, and my nose is filled with a smell other then my own.

Instinctually I open my eyes and they are instantly met with bright green.

An expected but pleasant heat pulses through my chest when I realize where I am.

Memories of the night before come flooding into my central nervous system.

"Kevin?"

My toes curl.

"I'm-I'm sorry Ben." My voice still doesn't become me. I slowly make my way onto a sitting position. For a moment all the blood rushes from my head and I am blinded.

His hand slides out of mine and I tense lightly.

"Are you, okay now?"

That's when I suddenly realize that, I just may be. Normally after such a bad attack I'm out of commission for a few days. But aside from a smoldering heat in my chest and the headache I'm more or less, okay.

"Yeah, I think so."

Ben sits up next to me and forces his face in mine. His morning breath finding its way down my lungs. He uses the sweaty hand that slept in mine to push my bangs out of my face.

He inspects me as if to make sure that I'm still Kevin.

"You look flushed."

My face instantly flushes.

He places his hand on my forehead and I'm instantly attracted to the cool surface.

"You have a fever Kevin, when didn't you tell me last night?"

He sounds angry, "I didn't know." He removes his hand and I moan in protest.

All of a sudden the covers are thrown from my body and an instant coolness swims into me.

"Damn it Kevin!"

Why does he keep saying my name like that? Ben instantly starts working at the zipper of my pants, and I allow it. The pleased hum of the fever making just about everything a-okay.

He gets them off in one big yank that throws me slightly backwards onto his pillows. I open my eyes back up to see Ben just standing there, looking over me. I don't really like it.

"What?"

"You should take a cold bath …"

Again; "What?"

"To get your fever down."

"Whatever."

Ben then does his best to disjoin me from his bed and myself. He shush me all the way down the hall.

He sits me down on the toilet and by the grace of god hands me a toothbrush with Crest already abundant on it.

I immediately inject the object into my mouth and begin brushing.

Ben disappears back out the door for a few minutes as I watch the bathtub fill with lukewarm water. I quickly realize that I don't like the fact that Ben wasn't with me anymore. I tried not to let it bother me and I spit the paste into the sink and wash it down.

The sun is just barely coming up. Only small slivers of light manage to sneak into the bathroom.

Ben comes back with a change of clothes and an extra towel.

Once the tub is full the red faced boy strips me of my shirt and boxers.

I can't ever remember taking a bath before and for a moment I don't know how I'm supposed to sit in it. This is decided for me, however, as my legs give out under me and I splash down.

The cool water is immediately pleasant on my skin.

I settle into the water. The fever sending pleasant bouts of heat around my body. I couldn't believe how quickly the attack had passed. Normally I wake up to Ben's alarm still shaking, and it's a struggle to get back out the window and to my apartment. It's never been like this before.

Could it have been the fever?

Could it have been Ben?

I drag my eyes over to Ben who's brushing his teeth in the mirror. It's still strange to me to find him there. To find myself here.

It made me, happy. I don't even care if this is only the fever talking, I am happy.

"What are you smiling about?" Ben asks around his toothbrush. A different toothbrush.

"What?" I hadn't realized that a lazy smile had been playing on my face. I pick up a rag and ring some cool water onto my head.

"Well?"

"Dunno, guess it just brings back nice memoires is all." It was nice to have nice memories sometimes.

"What do you mean?" Ben takes the rag from me.

"When I lived on the street we always liked getting fevers."

"What why?"

My lingering smile grows, "I suppose you wouldn't like it, but when you live on the street with nothing it was always nice to get a fever because it was the only way the hospitals would admit you. And for a few days you had a bed, and food and someone who would come into your room every night to ask if you need anything, and make sure you were okay." Another rag full of water is dumped on my head. "I guess that I've always liked getting fevers."

I don't mention how the fevers also seem to bring me luck.

Ben leaves the unfolded rag on my head like a shawl.

"That's a really sad story Kevin." His voice is low.

"Yeah, I suppose it is."

I feel the weight of a hand join the rag on my head.

"Goddamn it Kevin."

My smile brightens a bit and upon impulse I submerge myself into the tub.

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a/n: yes... reviews would still be nice to help motivate me.

also…I have nothing after this…yeah..


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